Lenny, I set off with mum and dad, Bella and Mac and you had old lady Jessica (beautiful and loyal) on her lead with you. As we set off your dad said “it’s nice not to have to plan a walk”. Striding forward I felt confident in my ability to get us down Dovedale to Milldale and up Bailey Hill and back to the car. Easy peasy. I’d done it before. Dovedale is one of my favourites and can you…
If you attended the 2022 SANDS garden day at the National Memorial Arboretum, you would have most certainly heard this poem, and maybe thought, What? Otherwise, you may have heard it thrown about the grief or baby loss community, or you have not heard about it at all before. Either way, It annoys me, not because I don’t like poetry (which I don’t), but it completely misrepresents how grieving parents feel. Ok, I’ll explain. So SANDS used it at as…
I first met the ‘new normal’ on the 19th December 2021, the day after Lenny had died. We were sat in the bereavement suite at Chesterfield hospital, on the side there were some child loss pamphlets and a child loss book, with the phrase, your ‘new normal,’ in the title. As you do, I read the title and judged a book by its cover and immediately thought … Sod off! I don’t need a new normal, what’s wrong with the…
Took a ride to ride to Lincoln with some friends, on the new bikes. Lenny was with us the whole time, it was really nice to have a good time connecting with him. There were some really special moment that I felt especially close to him peddling along a bridleway. Thanks for organising Alex and Bri xx
We managed a bike ride with Lenny and our good friend Bri, in the beautiful Peak District. It’s been another tough week, but pedalling (on the plush new bike) does make us both feel so much more connected to our son. Cycling really does give me some positive headspace to think about our life and Lenny. There is hope on a bike. I should try do it more, but its so hard to be motivated to do anything. I miss…
Two more done this Week!- Sir William Hill and Wardlow Hay Cop. Don’t be disillusioned, this has been a really hard week, yes we managed to get out with Lenny for these walks, but most of the time we have been very sad at home, lots of tears and chat. We had received Lenny’s post mortem results which has been really emotionally complex and we have had a whole other mountain of stuff to deal with. One day at a…
Over this last 12 months I thought I had learnt a lot. I spent 10 months learning about construction to build an extension on the back of the house, which I pretty much completed two weeks before Lenny was born, it seems pretty pointless now. However, since the 18th December 2021 I have learnt so much more and have changed so much as a person. Firstly, I really didn’t think that babies died, well that’s a stupid comment, I most…
The Ethels are 95 hills in the Peak District, mainly over 400m. They are a tribute to Ethel Haythornthwaite who was one of the founding pioneers of the Peak District National Park . Mim and I have walked many of these over the years, however, we want Lenny to walk all of them with us. So, we have started from scratch with our best pal Henghis, the first 3 were over near Hollinsclough. This is ongoing adventure is hugely important…
What is it about cycling that is helping us heal? I now can’t get enough of it, has this hobby become an addiction? …. if so, it’s a good one!! Mim and I have been cycling together consistently for the last 5 years, neither of us were particular cycling enthusiasts before this, we owned no Lycra items. I had commuted to Uni on a single speed (I’m not a hipster), built a few bikes and had an old 26in hardtail…