Our Story

The heartache of baby loss, and the struggle for support

On the 18th December 2021 Mim gave birth to our beautiful firstborn son, Lenny. Lenny was born at 40 weeks following a healthy and straightforward pregnancy and birth, he died completely unexpectedly just 27 minutes after he was born. Like so many babies who die, Lenny’s post-mortem showed that he was a perfectly healthy baby boy but he died due to umbilical cord entanglement and meconium aspiration. He had lots of blonde curly hair and looked just like his dad.

Within a year of Lenny’s death we lost our second son Bhai at 18.5 weeks gestation. This was again unexpected but very different circumstances and very traumatic. Bhai died due to placental abruption but due to complicating factors his death is considered a Termination for Medical Reasons (TFMR). Although according to his post-mortem he was again a perfectly healthy boy, he wouldn’t have survived without any water and continuing the pregnancy would have put Mim’s health at risk. Bhai offered us so much hope at such a dark time and losing him was utterly devastating just 8 months after Lenny died.

After the tragic deaths of our two boys, we were fortunate to bring their little sister Raya home with us in August 2023. Being pregnant again was terrifying to put it mildly after having experienced two sudden and very different losses – pregnancy after loss (PAL) is a sensitive, unique and uncertain time for many parents.

We are parents of three children, only one of them is alive. Parenting in the context of tragic loss is complex and challenging. We speak and write about our grief, pregnancy after loss and parenting after loss.