Baby loss awareness week is 9th-15th October each year. This year our message as a charity is that baby loss awareness is as much about love as it is about loss - we can all relate to loving children, loving children shouldn't be a taboo and therefore baby loss should not be a taboo.
Read More“Ye, good thanks……..
WHAT is going on!, I'm so far from alright I can't even begin to describe… but out of my mouth pops this utter drivel. My mind is saying something totally different, but I cant help make the situation easier for others by telling a complete lie. The question is worded in a way that assumes the answer is yes, so even when I have felt the worst a human can feel, I have said, “ok thanks.” Something needs to change!
I'm so aware that there are people in this community who desperately want to be in my position but I also feel I owe it to those who have been PAL, are currently, or may be PAL in the future to be honest about this.
Read MoreWe cycled from Auckland to Queenstown over two months, 2250Km via some amazing, beautiful locations, we made the route up as we went along based on recommendations from locals. We averaged 55km a day and elevation gain of 660m/day which overall means we Everested more than 3 times, this means cycling up Everest 3 times in total over the whole trip, total elevation gain- 27000m. For reference, our plane on the journey home was travelling at 12,000m altitude so we cycled twice as high as that in total. Simply put - it was not flat!
Read MoreI used to do a lot of climbing and have always felt that being strong is such a positive attribute. Since Lenny died, I have started weight training with Mim, this has made me strong…. which is positive - side note - this is not a positive thing to come out of Lenny dying, NOTHING POSITIVE CAME OUT OF THE DEATH OF MY CHILD!!! Being physically strong has made a positive impact on my mental wellbeing. As humans we aspire to have strength, especially as a male, I assume this comes from an evolutionary advantage, stronger man, more food? (Sorry, I failed the evolutionary biology module!) We have a World's strongest man and woman, but, we don't have the World's weakest man or woman - which according to Mim's mum would be her - so she is missing out on a deserved medal there. Why is it so important to be strong in todays world? What do we need strength for anyway? Lifting heavy objects? Is it actually beneficial to be strong?
Read MoreIf there is one piece of advice I could give to those supporting bereaved parents it would be this - say their baby's name.
Read MoreIf I had a pound for every time someone asked if I was back at work since Lenny died I'd never have to work again… the irony. I don't know whether it is seen as a sign of being ok, a benchmark of sanity that being back working means all is good, no need to worry about the crazy person any more or its just a topic of conversation. Either way no one enjoys work chat! But I haven't been asked the question before Lenny died. When I do get asked, I feel I need to justify why I'm unable to work and why a medical professional has said I'm not fit to work, as if its not obvious enough!
Read MoreShe's MINT!!!!!! My words cannot do this incredible mother, wife and absolute warrior justice! But seeing it is out 10 year wedding anniversary I'm going to try, it cant be worse than that poor speech I did at our wedding!. We met at the University of Sheffield, we both had a passion for the outdoors and a good party! We quickly fell in love at the climbing wall and a first date at Casanova, what a romantic!
Read MoreWARNING FOUL LANGUAGE! No parents should have to sign two post mortem forms within 7 months, actually no one should ever have to sign that form! We were offered the 'post mortem booklet and we told the consultant that we already had a copy and knew all about it!
Read MoreI first met the 'new normal' on the 19th December 2021, the day after Lenny had died. We were sat in the bereavement suite at Chesterfield hospital, on the side there were some child loss pamphlets and a child loss book, with the phrase, your 'new normal,' in the title. As you do, I read the title and judged a book by its cover and immediately thought … Sod off! I don't need a new normal, what's wrong with the old one. I'm not going to change. What the hell is everyone talking about? Finding a new normal? I want the old normal, that was fine! In all honesty this was one of the things that freaked me out the most. My life felt as far from normal as possible.
Read MoreOver this last 12 months I thought I had learnt a lot. I spent 10 months learning about construction to build an extension on the back of the house, which I pretty much completed two weeks before Lenny was born, it seems pretty pointless now. However, since the 18th December 2021 I have learnt so much more and have changed so much as a person. Firstly, I really didn’t think that babies died, well that’s a stupid comment, I most certainly did, like most people I had blocked out the idea and thought it wouldn’t happen to me……. how wrong was I?
Read MoreWhat is it about cycling that is helping us heal? I now can't get enough of it, has this hobby become an addiction? If so, it's a good one!!
Read MoreAm I grieving? What is grief? Am I doing it right? How do I know if I’m doing it right? How long will it last? These are questions I continue to ask myself, and I don’t think I’m alone! As a father to a child who died I have wanted to try and “fix the problem”, but I cant. I have been on a journey of grief since our boy Lenny died on the 18th December 2021.
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